Well, if that was the weekend, then we had it. It started off on Thursday night when Hubby and I drove our oldest boys to their Mother in Rustenburg to visit with her until Sunday. On Friday my youngest spent the day with my Brother and his Fiancé. I fetched him after work (we got off early – nice surprise) and then hubby and I decided we’d take Donny to dinner and a movie seeing as it was just the three of us. We bought tickets for UP and went to Spur for supper. After supper we roamed the mall a little and hubby and Donny played some games in the arcade and then we headed to the movie theater. We were halfway through the movie when my phone rang. (Thank God I had it with me as hubby had decided to leave his phone at home). It was Mark, our oldest. Hubby answered and went out of the theatre to call him back. “Something is wrong” he said before doing so. He came back inside just a few moments later and said we had to go. He will have to take Donny and me home because he has to go immediately and fetch the two boys. Their mother has been drinking and she has turned violent and verbally abusive. (She is an alcoholic and has been sober for almost a year, after she fell off the wagon after ± three years sobriety).
Our boys have never seen her like this. They know she has a problem and they knew she was drinking again about a year ago (if it was even that long ago) but they didn’t visit with her except if she was in rehab. I did all I could to help her get into a rehab last time, but it was no good. Anyway, we didn’t know or even suspect that she was drinking again this time, we would never have let them go if we did and they would not have wanted to go because they told her last time if she is hitting the bottle they won’t visit her. Maybe that’s why we didn’t know.
So, on Friday she was drinking and she got into a fight with her friend that she lives with, physically and even smashed a coffee mug on her back. She was verbally abusive about me, my hubby and everybody she could think of. She even told Mark he looked ugly. It totally freaked Mark (our oldest) out. He has always seen his mother as someone who can do no wrong. And he has adored her always – it was his idea to go and visit, he initiated the visit. He is very disappointed and disgusted with her.
Her behaviour, language, rage and abuse was truly shocking for them both.
I was so thankful and relieved when they came home after midnight on Friday night. I just pray that they are able to forgive her and not hold on to their hurt and anger. She is the way she is because of all that anger she carries in her heart – and I don’t want that to happen to them. She is and will always be their mother and they will need to speak to her again at some point. She has done a lot of damage and I don’t know how she is going to undo it. I can encourage them to speak to her when and if she calls – but it is ultimately up to them.
Now Mark understands, at least a little better, why he lives with his father and me and also why his father divorced her. I do believe they thought he was exaggerating when he told them how she could be.
I am just so very sorry they had to see the harsh truth for themselves, alone like that. I have always been afraid that something like this would happen. But I spose you can't protect anybody from the truth forever...
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
NUDGE-NUDGE, WINK-WINK
The other night my Hubby and my friend were laughing at me cause I can’t wink without screwing up my face – even a little. And so they had a good laugh at my expense.
I forgot about it, but then this morning in the kitchen I was laughing with another lady and she winked about something at me and it got me thinking again about me that can’t wink properly. I headed back to my little office, but to get there I walk through the factory. I was so deep in thought about the whole winking thing that as I was walking I was trying to wink without screwing up my face, and I suddenly realised that the people walking towards me thought something was very funny. Obviously they too were laughing at this crazy lady walking around the factory winking at everyone…
Guess who won’t be winking at anybody again…
LOL!!!
I forgot about it, but then this morning in the kitchen I was laughing with another lady and she winked about something at me and it got me thinking again about me that can’t wink properly. I headed back to my little office, but to get there I walk through the factory. I was so deep in thought about the whole winking thing that as I was walking I was trying to wink without screwing up my face, and I suddenly realised that the people walking towards me thought something was very funny. Obviously they too were laughing at this crazy lady walking around the factory winking at everyone…
Guess who won’t be winking at anybody again…
LOL!!!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
25 Firsts
I stole this off Angel's blog – she said I could!
1. Who was your first prom date?
Well, I only went to one “prom”, and I went with a complete jerk! He rocked up to fetch me with a lump on his forehead the size of a golf ball and he wouldn’t dance with me. His name was Henk. We were friends, so I wasn’t into him – but I was very disappointed that night. About 10 years later I heard through the grapevine that he had decided he was gay. My prom was in a nutshell a DISASTER!!
2. Do you still talk to your first love?
No. He broke my heart so badly it took me YEARS to get over him, I don’t want to talk to him again.
3. What was your first alcoholic drink?
Vodka and orange juice – I think…
4. What was your first job?
I worked at Express Photo Lakeside in the Centurion mall.
5. What was your first car?
A white KIA Picanto – I only just got it recently so I am still driving it!
6. Who was the first person to text you today?
My mom in law! Bless her heart.
7. Who was the first person you thought of this morning?
My Hubby
8. Who was your first grade teacher?
Mrs Horn (I got confused on the first day when my parents asked me her name and I said Mrs. Bull)
9. Where did you go on your first flight in a plane?
If I remember correctly, I was in grade 1 my sister and I flew to Cape Town. I haven’t been on a plane since then… :(
10. Who was your first best friend and do you still talk?
Linda was my first real Best Friend. She lives in Oz, but we still talk over facebook and e-mail, and she is still a very dear friend of mine. I miss her terribly sometimes.
11. Where was your first sleepover?
Probably at Megyn or my grandparents house.
12. Who was the first person you talked to today?
My Hubby
13. Whose wedding were you in for the first time?
It was either my Brother’s or my Sister’s – I can’t remember whose was first…
14. What was the first thing you did this morning?
Jumped in the shower to wake up.
15. What was the first concert you went to?
Haven’t yet.
16. First tattoo?
Don’t have any.
17. First piercing?
I had my ears pierced when I was in about Grad 2 or 3, can’t remember so clearly.
18. First foreign country you went to?
No, none yet.
19. First movie you remember seeing?
Bambi! With my dad and my sister – I vaguely remember that one.
20. What state did you first live in?
I’ve only ever lived in Gauteng
21. Who was your first room mate?
My sister and I were room-mates most of our lives, and then when I moved to Randburg I was roomies with Anthea.
22. When was your first detention?
Grade 5 or 6, I didn’t even know. I received a letter in an envelope for my parents and when my dad read it and told me it was a detention letter I was gob smacked! After that I spent quite a lot of time there LOL!
23. If you had one wish what would it be?
I wish I had worked harder in school.
24. What is one thing you would learn, given the chance?
To play the Piano – like a pro!
25. What was the name of your imaginary friend?
I don’t remember having one, I had a sister to play with. She was FAR better than an imaginary friend!
1. Who was your first prom date?
Well, I only went to one “prom”, and I went with a complete jerk! He rocked up to fetch me with a lump on his forehead the size of a golf ball and he wouldn’t dance with me. His name was Henk. We were friends, so I wasn’t into him – but I was very disappointed that night. About 10 years later I heard through the grapevine that he had decided he was gay. My prom was in a nutshell a DISASTER!!
2. Do you still talk to your first love?
No. He broke my heart so badly it took me YEARS to get over him, I don’t want to talk to him again.
3. What was your first alcoholic drink?
Vodka and orange juice – I think…
4. What was your first job?
I worked at Express Photo Lakeside in the Centurion mall.
5. What was your first car?
A white KIA Picanto – I only just got it recently so I am still driving it!
6. Who was the first person to text you today?
My mom in law! Bless her heart.
7. Who was the first person you thought of this morning?
My Hubby
8. Who was your first grade teacher?
Mrs Horn (I got confused on the first day when my parents asked me her name and I said Mrs. Bull)
9. Where did you go on your first flight in a plane?
If I remember correctly, I was in grade 1 my sister and I flew to Cape Town. I haven’t been on a plane since then… :(
10. Who was your first best friend and do you still talk?
Linda was my first real Best Friend. She lives in Oz, but we still talk over facebook and e-mail, and she is still a very dear friend of mine. I miss her terribly sometimes.
11. Where was your first sleepover?
Probably at Megyn or my grandparents house.
12. Who was the first person you talked to today?
My Hubby
13. Whose wedding were you in for the first time?
It was either my Brother’s or my Sister’s – I can’t remember whose was first…
14. What was the first thing you did this morning?
Jumped in the shower to wake up.
15. What was the first concert you went to?
Haven’t yet.
16. First tattoo?
Don’t have any.
17. First piercing?
I had my ears pierced when I was in about Grad 2 or 3, can’t remember so clearly.
18. First foreign country you went to?
No, none yet.
19. First movie you remember seeing?
Bambi! With my dad and my sister – I vaguely remember that one.
20. What state did you first live in?
I’ve only ever lived in Gauteng
21. Who was your first room mate?
My sister and I were room-mates most of our lives, and then when I moved to Randburg I was roomies with Anthea.
22. When was your first detention?
Grade 5 or 6, I didn’t even know. I received a letter in an envelope for my parents and when my dad read it and told me it was a detention letter I was gob smacked! After that I spent quite a lot of time there LOL!
23. If you had one wish what would it be?
I wish I had worked harder in school.
24. What is one thing you would learn, given the chance?
To play the Piano – like a pro!
25. What was the name of your imaginary friend?
I don’t remember having one, I had a sister to play with. She was FAR better than an imaginary friend!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
GETTING TO KNOW ME...
I started working at a new company 6 months ago. I am really loving it! We manufacture cosmetics and it is such a cool place to work for.
One thing that I find odd is the way the people here perceive me. Before I worked here I was at a different pharmaceutical company for 11 years, and everybody there knew me well. So I never really experienced “new views” of what kind of impression I leave.
What is so interesting here is that I have been perceived as stuck-up, snobbish and high maintenance. And this is from both men and women. Now I have never thought of myself as any of these, and I am sure that anyone who knows me will say I am not like that either… right???
Just recently I did an e-mail questionnaire at work that a friend sent me. You answer a series of questions and it gives you a little summary of your personality and character. This is what mine said:
You are the Orient-Floral Fragrance
You have a very strong sense of self awareness and your own world. You are not likely to be manipulated. You will use your own strength to actively reach your goals and this gives others the impression of being passionate. You are decisive with friends, and somewhat of a lone-ranger. Those around you will feel that you are a mysterious character. While being mysterious can sometimes be charming, others may feel that they cannot talk to you in a relaxing manner and find you difficult to handle due to your caginess and high self-regard. It even gets to the point where people avoid unnecessary contact with you and stay as far away as possible. The real you is actually rather gentle, but people will only notice your merits when they are very close to you.
This amazed me as I have always seen myself as somebody friendly, approachable and kind.
This is what I say (lemme break it down…):
Yes I do have a strong sense of self awareness, but not in a vain “I love me” way and no, I am not likely to be manipulated. I depend mostly on God to achieve anything as I know that I cannot do anything in my own strength. And if I seem passionate, I hope it’s about God and my relationship with him. He is my strength. I am decisive with friends yes, after all, you can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends. But I am not a lone-ranger. I have always felt people may see me as a little mysterious, but it’s because I am a little bit quiet and I don’t just sommer open up about my personal life to everybody I run into. I have not ever felt that people find it hard to talk to me in a relaxing manner most people usually end up telling me their entire life story, and I don’t mind! I don’t think I am cagey and I don’t have a high self regard – in fact I don’t regard myself very highly at all. If people are avoiding contact with me I don’t even know it. LOL!! And the real me really is gentle, I just hope it’s not something that is not easy to see.
You see, that character test was so weird because this is exactly how people have perceived me to be at my new place of employment. I have never experienced anything like it. And it’s not done in an ugly way so I am not falling apart or upset because of it – I am just a little surprised.
I do know my hubby will tell you I am NOT High Maintenance! LOL!!!
And I am sure my family and friends will say I am not stuck-up, snobbish, high manitenance or cagey etc. Nê?
One thing that I find odd is the way the people here perceive me. Before I worked here I was at a different pharmaceutical company for 11 years, and everybody there knew me well. So I never really experienced “new views” of what kind of impression I leave.
What is so interesting here is that I have been perceived as stuck-up, snobbish and high maintenance. And this is from both men and women. Now I have never thought of myself as any of these, and I am sure that anyone who knows me will say I am not like that either… right???
Just recently I did an e-mail questionnaire at work that a friend sent me. You answer a series of questions and it gives you a little summary of your personality and character. This is what mine said:
You are the Orient-Floral Fragrance
You have a very strong sense of self awareness and your own world. You are not likely to be manipulated. You will use your own strength to actively reach your goals and this gives others the impression of being passionate. You are decisive with friends, and somewhat of a lone-ranger. Those around you will feel that you are a mysterious character. While being mysterious can sometimes be charming, others may feel that they cannot talk to you in a relaxing manner and find you difficult to handle due to your caginess and high self-regard. It even gets to the point where people avoid unnecessary contact with you and stay as far away as possible. The real you is actually rather gentle, but people will only notice your merits when they are very close to you.
This amazed me as I have always seen myself as somebody friendly, approachable and kind.
This is what I say (lemme break it down…):
Yes I do have a strong sense of self awareness, but not in a vain “I love me” way and no, I am not likely to be manipulated. I depend mostly on God to achieve anything as I know that I cannot do anything in my own strength. And if I seem passionate, I hope it’s about God and my relationship with him. He is my strength. I am decisive with friends yes, after all, you can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends. But I am not a lone-ranger. I have always felt people may see me as a little mysterious, but it’s because I am a little bit quiet and I don’t just sommer open up about my personal life to everybody I run into. I have not ever felt that people find it hard to talk to me in a relaxing manner most people usually end up telling me their entire life story, and I don’t mind! I don’t think I am cagey and I don’t have a high self regard – in fact I don’t regard myself very highly at all. If people are avoiding contact with me I don’t even know it. LOL!! And the real me really is gentle, I just hope it’s not something that is not easy to see.
You see, that character test was so weird because this is exactly how people have perceived me to be at my new place of employment. I have never experienced anything like it. And it’s not done in an ugly way so I am not falling apart or upset because of it – I am just a little surprised.
I do know my hubby will tell you I am NOT High Maintenance! LOL!!!
And I am sure my family and friends will say I am not stuck-up, snobbish, high manitenance or cagey etc. Nê?
Thursday, September 3, 2009
BLOODY HORMONAL
I have come to the realization that I am really taking a knock during my PMS period. This week I hit such a low and felt so depressed I actually went and researched it and the causes. Now anyone who knows me will tell you I am not a person who suffers from depression. But lately I get to my PMS “period” (LOL) and I don’t know who I am. The last time I got all emotional and irritable was when I had the big fight with my son (read back a few posts) and it was just before I started my menses. It seems to get to its absolute worst and most dangerous the very day before I start. And I have never experienced anything like it. I know my body, I know myself and I know that during PMS I normally get a backache, cramps, sensitive boobs, and a little bit of irritation. But this lately has been so extreme and it is all so new to me. I feel like I am on a rollercoaster of emotions and I only seem to realise it’s PMS when I start my menses and I feel like me again.
It’s horrible! Horrible. And I feel like I am not in control. My body and my brain just do what they want.
I shudder to think what menopause will be like…
I am definitely going to go and see my doctor and find out what she says about it.
It’s horrible! Horrible. And I feel like I am not in control. My body and my brain just do what they want.
I shudder to think what menopause will be like…
I am definitely going to go and see my doctor and find out what she says about it.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
BEAUTY QUEEN MATERIAL ??
I have to share this story here because I thought it was very funny. This morning in the ladies room one of the women who I work with, and have become quite fond of, asked me if I was ever a Beauty Queen. I laughed out loud at her question and then realized she was serious!! I managed to control myself and told her no, I had never been a beauty queen – stifling my laughter. ‘Oh, she said, you look like Beauty Queen Material to me.’ I laughed again and told her she was very sweet, and I thanked her for the compliment. But I have to say I still find it funny. I keep picturing myself in a swim suit or something up on a stage – it would be a HYSTERICAL sight!!!
Whoodofthunkit – me, Beauty Queen Material… A lovely compliment – but funny none the less.
Thanks 'S' for making my day!!
Whoodofthunkit – me, Beauty Queen Material… A lovely compliment – but funny none the less.
Thanks 'S' for making my day!!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
SMELLY SITUATION
How do I tell my 16 year old he smells bad? At first I thought it was just me who could smell it – cause I have a very sensitive nose, but it turns out it’s not. A friend of mine was visiting last night and when she left he was in the lounge and she asked me what smelt so funny. I shrugged and she said (with a chuckle) “I think it may be your son.”
I realised he really does smell bad. (yikes!!)
OH WOE IS ME!!! To be the one who has to deal with this.
He does shower everyday and he washes his hair everyday too. But he plays soccer – everyday. Last night he had just come home from practice as my friend was leaving and he was sweaty. Very sweaty. But, he went to bed like that. Gugh!!!
And when I open his door in the morning to wake him up it’s like a wave that hits me in the face – that’s how bad it gets. His room always smells sweaty. It’s really gross.
I thought he would get some savvy on his own, but he hasn’t so I guess it’s up to me.
I will have to wait till I get him alone and tell him as nicely as possible – and without embarrassing him that he may want to consider showering or bathing after practices and before school in the morning – basically twice a day, instead of just once. It’s strange cause he’s SO pedantic about his appearance that I am surprised by this behaviour.
I could just come right out and say
“Hey, dude you REEK, you should like shower a little more often dontcha think? Chicks will dig you if you do.”
But I have a sense that this may require a little more tact than that – after all he does have a very fragile male ego…
Any tips anyone?
I realised he really does smell bad. (yikes!!)
OH WOE IS ME!!! To be the one who has to deal with this.
He does shower everyday and he washes his hair everyday too. But he plays soccer – everyday. Last night he had just come home from practice as my friend was leaving and he was sweaty. Very sweaty. But, he went to bed like that. Gugh!!!
And when I open his door in the morning to wake him up it’s like a wave that hits me in the face – that’s how bad it gets. His room always smells sweaty. It’s really gross.
I thought he would get some savvy on his own, but he hasn’t so I guess it’s up to me.
I will have to wait till I get him alone and tell him as nicely as possible – and without embarrassing him that he may want to consider showering or bathing after practices and before school in the morning – basically twice a day, instead of just once. It’s strange cause he’s SO pedantic about his appearance that I am surprised by this behaviour.
I could just come right out and say
“Hey, dude you REEK, you should like shower a little more often dontcha think? Chicks will dig you if you do.”
But I have a sense that this may require a little more tact than that – after all he does have a very fragile male ego…
Any tips anyone?
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