Well, if that was the weekend, then we had it. It started off on Thursday night when Hubby and I drove our oldest boys to their Mother in Rustenburg to visit with her until Sunday. On Friday my youngest spent the day with my Brother and his Fiancé. I fetched him after work (we got off early – nice surprise) and then hubby and I decided we’d take Donny to dinner and a movie seeing as it was just the three of us. We bought tickets for UP and went to Spur for supper. After supper we roamed the mall a little and hubby and Donny played some games in the arcade and then we headed to the movie theater. We were halfway through the movie when my phone rang. (Thank God I had it with me as hubby had decided to leave his phone at home). It was Mark, our oldest. Hubby answered and went out of the theatre to call him back. “Something is wrong” he said before doing so. He came back inside just a few moments later and said we had to go. He will have to take Donny and me home because he has to go immediately and fetch the two boys. Their mother has been drinking and she has turned violent and verbally abusive. (She is an alcoholic and has been sober for almost a year, after she fell off the wagon after ± three years sobriety).
Our boys have never seen her like this. They know she has a problem and they knew she was drinking again about a year ago (if it was even that long ago) but they didn’t visit with her except if she was in rehab. I did all I could to help her get into a rehab last time, but it was no good. Anyway, we didn’t know or even suspect that she was drinking again this time, we would never have let them go if we did and they would not have wanted to go because they told her last time if she is hitting the bottle they won’t visit her. Maybe that’s why we didn’t know.
So, on Friday she was drinking and she got into a fight with her friend that she lives with, physically and even smashed a coffee mug on her back. She was verbally abusive about me, my hubby and everybody she could think of. She even told Mark he looked ugly. It totally freaked Mark (our oldest) out. He has always seen his mother as someone who can do no wrong. And he has adored her always – it was his idea to go and visit, he initiated the visit. He is very disappointed and disgusted with her.
Her behaviour, language, rage and abuse was truly shocking for them both.
I was so thankful and relieved when they came home after midnight on Friday night. I just pray that they are able to forgive her and not hold on to their hurt and anger. She is the way she is because of all that anger she carries in her heart – and I don’t want that to happen to them. She is and will always be their mother and they will need to speak to her again at some point. She has done a lot of damage and I don’t know how she is going to undo it. I can encourage them to speak to her when and if she calls – but it is ultimately up to them.
Now Mark understands, at least a little better, why he lives with his father and me and also why his father divorced her. I do believe they thought he was exaggerating when he told them how she could be.
I am just so very sorry they had to see the harsh truth for themselves, alone like that. I have always been afraid that something like this would happen. But I spose you can't protect anybody from the truth forever...