Wednesday, January 13, 2010


Yesterday I came home from work to find my oldest son sleeping on my couch wearing nothing but his underwear. Now as a mother you know that it's natural that your children will grow up and become men and certain parts of their body's will grow too.
You know it, but you don't want to see it..
So there he is in his "tightey whiteys" sprawled on his back - leaving NOTHING to the imagination. I was horrified!! I woke him up and told him if he wants to sleep in his underwear or even in his birthday suite he is to please do so in his bedroom.
That night he told his father that he came home from school and slept all day - I said, "ja, but not before he stripped down to just about nothing". His dad also told him it was not the right thing to do and that it is OK to go without a shirt - but not to walk around in his undies like that.

You see, I put it down to vanity. He schemes he is just the best looking thing around. he spends HOURS in front of the mirror - even if he wakes up in the middle of the night to go pee he will go to the other bathroom to check his hair. Huh???
I have asked him to please put a shirt on if we have company or if one of my girlfriends come to visit too - it just shows good manners. he even reckons his teeth are more important than his eyes and refuses to wear glasses or even have his eyes checked - "but we must fix his teeth as they are important".
OMW!!! Can you be more vain than that? Can you be more in love with yourself? He won't play any sport at school because he plays soccer for an outside club and reckons the school begs him to do athletics every year... I think not.

He wouldn't go and get his school books when they were ready on the Saturday before school started because he had a zit on his chin - PALEEEEZ. I can't wait for him to "grow up" - but I have a feeling it will take a bit longer than I am hoping.


Terri said...

At the risk of putting my foot in it... it may not be vanity as much as self-esteem. Checking your appearance in the mirror isn't necessarily admiring yourself, it may just be checking you look OK. As someone who has never had much self-confidence, and fairly low self-esteem, I am extremely aware of my appearance. I don't want to look bad in front of other people.
I remember one of my "Aunties" used to tell me not to be vain, as a kid, if ever I checked my reflection in a mirror or window, and looking back now I think she did me a great disservice because it undermined my self-confidence even more by making me feel like I was doing something terribly bad.

I agree there comes an age when boys shouldn't be running around the house in their undies, and also with the shirt thing... but do be gentle with his teenage ego. The more confidence he can make it to manhood with, the better.

Sometimes things sort of trigger something and I think, "you know, if something had happened differently with me, it might have been better" and I am compelled to say something because maybe it might just be of benefit to someone else.

Having said all of that, all I know is the little bit you've written here so I may be completely off the mark! I really hope I haven't offended you at all with this comment and please feel free to tell me to mind my own business!


Brigitte said...

Terri - No offence taken at all. :)
I completely understand what you are saying. I don't tell him I think he is vain or anything like that and I don't tell him to stop admiring himself, so I put it here to get it off my chest. I know that his ego and self esteem is very fragile at this age which is why I waited until his dad was home to bring up the undies thing so that he could tell him - man to man - that it's not a good idea. And it was all done in a way that made him laugh at his mothers sillyness - but he got it. LOL!
But I know him and a few people have commented on the fact that he is vain, and sometimes it gets a little annoying.

angel said...

Teehee... how different are we! I have no problem with the knucklehead going without a shirt, although I do insist he puts some clothes on when we may have guests.

Terri said...

hehehe, I know exactly where you're coming from... I do so much parenting through my husband for the same reason! And you're quite right; this is exactly the place for venting xx