Tuesday, May 19, 2009

GRRRRRR

I need to learn– again – not to sweat the small things. This is SO hard though because so often it seems as if the “small” things are done just to annoy me.

Is that silly?

Does anybody else feel like that?

I don’t have an example to give you that will make sense. It will sound petty and childish. But it’s just the same little things that happen over and over again, and I ask over and over again for it not to happen or for a bit of thought and consideration but I am faced daily with a “couldn’t care less” attitude. I am ignored and to me it’s disrespectful and hurtful. And it makes me angry – which I don’t want.

I know (hope) he will grow up one day and behave differently.
I know (hope) he will stop being so self-centered and begin to show a teeny bit of respect.
I know (hope) he will grow up and try to treat me like a person and not a thing.

I try to always be pleasant and loving. I know he is the child and I am the adult and therefore I should be the example but it just feels to me at times like I am pouring all my time and effort and energy into an empty cause. And so I am not always the “nicest” person either. I don’t deny it.

I am just tired of being treated “nice” when he wants something. It’s manipulative and I sometimes think I should say “no” just to be spiteful, but where will that get me? Sometimes I find myself looking forward to the day he moves out. I know it may sound horrible – but there is such tension in the house when he is there and we all seem to get along better when he’s not there.

Could it be just me?

I know, I made my bed and I gotta lie in it – but I don’t have to like it all the time do I?

6 comments:

angel said...

Ag my sis... its the little things that add up and become big things!
Strongs!!
{{hugs}}

Elise said...

It's natural to feel the way you do. Teenagers are sullen and self obsessed. If he's nice when he wants something, don't give in. He needs to earn it by respecting you. I wish you the best of luck. xx

lulu said...

Welcome back! Although I only met you a few times, I have seen you with these boys and I think you are an awesome "stepmom" hang in there I am sure your love will win in the end!!

Brigitte said...

Angel - Thanks for the strongs and the hugs

Elise - Good advice, I will keep it in mind

Lulu - Your encouragment means SO much to me!!!! Thanks ;)

lulu said...

You are so welcome have an awesome weekend and thanks for visiting my blog too means a lot!!

Wenchy said...

Nahhhh, you make allot of sense.