I need to learn– again – not to sweat the small things. This is SO hard though because so often it seems as if the “small” things are done just to annoy me.
Is that silly?
Does anybody else feel like that?
I don’t have an example to give you that will make sense. It will sound petty and childish. But it’s just the same little things that happen over and over again, and I ask over and over again for it not to happen or for a bit of thought and consideration but I am faced daily with a “couldn’t care less” attitude. I am ignored and to me it’s disrespectful and hurtful. And it makes me angry – which I don’t want.
I know (hope) he will grow up one day and behave differently.
I know (hope) he will stop being so self-centered and begin to show a teeny bit of respect.
I know (hope) he will grow up and try to treat me like a person and not a thing.
I try to always be pleasant and loving. I know he is the child and I am the adult and therefore I should be the example but it just feels to me at times like I am pouring all my time and effort and energy into an empty cause. And so I am not always the “nicest” person either. I don’t deny it.
I am just tired of being treated “nice” when he wants something. It’s manipulative and I sometimes think I should say “no” just to be spiteful, but where will that get me? Sometimes I find myself looking forward to the day he moves out. I know it may sound horrible – but there is such tension in the house when he is there and we all seem to get along better when he’s not there.
Could it be just me?
I know, I made my bed and I gotta lie in it – but I don’t have to like it all the time do I?